Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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