He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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