Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
