i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
