my mouth tastes like poor choices
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I deserve this hangover.
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