What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
