aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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