just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
