Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
