Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
