Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
