In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
