If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm at about main and main street
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Randomize
