My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
