So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
