To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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