did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
