Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
