so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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