bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
