can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
