If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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