is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
These tits shall not be calmed
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
