god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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