Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
