i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
