He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
