I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
