i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
