Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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