Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just invented taco cereal.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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