U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He did a backflip because drugs
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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