we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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