I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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