Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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