i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
