I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Is it penis luge time yet?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
