Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
