I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
