Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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