we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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