The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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