we're blogging at a bar
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
