How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Dick very happy bro
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
