After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
