he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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