Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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