he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Can I color on your dick again?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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