dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
