Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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