do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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