he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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