I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Alive.
So much puke
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
